Sunday, May 25, 2008

From the other side

Ok, it wasn't a kidney stone and I'm not saying it was worse, just horrible in a different way. I ended up with a severe infection in my "nether region", I'll just leave it at that. For those of you I told or for those of you that are in my wife's "inner circle" you know that it was a very painful situation with some very weird and uncomfortable things going on. Not a good time for me, but I'm glad I could add a good laugh to a few luncheons and cell phone call or two. Ha! Ha!

   Well I think I'm out-of-the-woods, they gave me a shot in the bum of strong antibiotics and a prescription of the same and I seem to be feeling a little better.
   The hardest thing for me was to actually take some time off to rest. I don't do that very well, but the doctor said if I did not rest then it was possible that my "nether region" could fall off. I rested!

    One of the things that has come up while I have been resting is I'm starting to get some feed back on my "blog". This feed back is coming from some people who have some personal interest to my comments. They are either questioning their involvement in a story, or whether all parts of the event are accurate, or lastly, some are worried that they are going to be incriminated through  my stories when they have either on their own, or through legal or psychological council, hoped that these things would lay dormant.
    Well I have this to say. History is written by those that get it on paper first. My disclaimer is that all of the events are accurate to my best recollection and totally from my point-of-view. For those that are concerned about their implication in the crimes, I mean events, they really should have thought about that when they decided to hang out with us. I might change some names to protect the innocent, we'll see.

So here's a good one.
I'm sure he's reading this, because word got back to me that he was one of the complainers, but a common theme from my childhood, you'll notice, is that my cousin Tony (name NOT changed to protect the innocent) will be at most of the catastrophic events that happened. There might be something to that.
   This one occurs at his parents house in Las Vegas, as from my earlier blog, "where was the adult supervision?"
   His parents had just installed a new fireplace in their family room. It was summer, I'm not even sure they had burned a fire in it yet. Well Tony and I decided we should see if it worked. So after piling every newspaper, magazine and loose piece of lumber from the backyard, we threw a match to it. Now that was a fire! 
    After we burned everything within reach we became bored. Remember "bored 12 year olds" not a good idea. So we leave that burning and go out back and the first thing we notice is the unbelievable amount of smoke coming out of the chimney. Sitting there at our feet was a box of 55 gallon plastic garbage bags. Picture light bulbs going on above our heads. Box in hand and on to the roof we go. 
   Now if there are youngsters reading this, do not try this at home, we were highly trained professionals.
   We took a bag and placed it over the chimney, it rapidly filled with heat and smoke. We released the bag and it went nearly 30' in the air and then rolled over and the smoke poured out like an Indian smoke signal. Now come on, how cool is that?!?! 
   We did this until all the bags were melted and we were still not bored. It had to be cool. So there has to be more bags inside the house right? So we scamper off the roof and run to the back door and open it...........Solid Wall of Smoke!! I am not lying the house is plumb full of smoke. 
   Once again panic sets in. I spend a lot of my childhood operating in panic mode. We are running through the house opening doors and windows. There is so much smoke you could write your name in the mirrors on the wall. So picture two 12 year olds running through the house with flapping towels and trying to clear all this smoke. 
   Now here's the best part. Tony's older brother Eric kept rare birds in cages in his room. Don't know what they were, just knew they were really colorful and usually made a lot of chirping sounds. As I ran by his room, no chirping, that's odd. I hit the skids and peek in. Colorful birds covered in soot and hanging upside down. 
  Now picture two 12 year olds trying to administer mouth-to-mouth to little birds while pumping their little chests.
   So needless to say we never even came close to cleaning that mess up, but we did take a blood oath to the fact that all we did was light a fire, much too large for the fireplace, and under no circumstances did we get on the roof or place anything in or on the chimney. I even think my uncle had the contractor check on how well the fireplace vented itself.
   I think I was grounded for the entire summer and forbidden to hang out with Tony. Talk about (barn door after the horse is out). The whole not hanging out with Tony didn't last very long any way. I think the fire in Kanarraville was that next summer. There are plenty more stories to come. 
   My mom was in town and she brought this newspaper clipping about a lady who raised boys and had all these things that happen while they were growing up. I scoffed.

Peace Out


TiMe4sTaMpIn said...


Please keep these wonderful stories coming..I just love it. I can just see all this going on. You were great kids and boy do you have stories to tell. So you think that is why you got 1 boy (Tyler) The angel and 3 sweet girls? Maybe there is something to this. Hope your feeling Much better...Missed you at the Party on Saturday. talk to you soon.

Kori & Pete (your long lost cousins)

Kelli said...

All these stories help me to make it through the challenges we face with our own children. I just think to myself, "they could be as bad as their dad was", and then I feel better about things. I'm glad that you can have a sense of humor about it now because it makes for some great stories. Love you!!

steve said...

wow. They should do a mini series about your childhood.

Jen Rose said...

From all the stories out there....a feature film would be more appropriate!


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